Veggies
by gategirl324
Summary: Daniel goes over to visit Jack...and overhears something interesting. But, it's completely innocent...isn't it? SJ


A/n: My first fic on this site! Happy reading!

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Daniel Jackson was the master of multi-tasking. Not only was he driving to Jack O'Neill's house- he was drinking coffee, talking to Teal'c on his cell phone, AND listening to a recording of himself translating some recent ruins.

"No, Teal'c, I'm listening to it right now, it does say 'passage to the others'. Well, I don't know, it could be anything…Yes, I'm going over to Jack's right now. You want to make movie night tonight? What movie? Star Wars, again? Yes, yes I'll ask him." Daniel hung up the phone and turned off the recording. After draining the last of his coffee, he parked and walking around to the back porch.

Once he got there, he could hear a voice in the kitchen. No, make that two voices. One of them was definitely Jack's, the other one…Sam? What was she doing there? He was about to walk in and ask her, but what he heard stopped him.

"C'mon, a bit more, a bit more! Oh yeah, right there, keep going! Harder, harder!" Sam could _not _be saying that, and to Jack of all people!

"I can handle it on my own, you don't need to-" Jack groaned loudly, and Sam gasped almost as loud.

"My god, it's huge! Whoa, a little warning might have been nice!" Daniel shook his head, Sam would never say something like that. Sam and Jack would never _do _something like that. He was hearing things, he was definitely hearing things.

"Why thank you, I picked it out myself." Jack said smugly. Sam's explosive laughter erupted from the kitchen and Daniel shook his head like a dog trying to rid its ears of water. Which was Daniel was trying to do. Only, he was trying to rid his ears of Sam and Jack's words, not water. And he wasn't a dog. And he was hearing things. Daniel gave himself a firm shake and made a mental note to get more sleep and drink less coffee. Yes! That was it, the coffee! That was what was making him hear things, crazy things, things that could never ever be happening. Ever.

"Oh, yeah, c'mon, Sir! Almost there, just bit-" Sam's panting voice was cut off by Jack's equally strained voice.

"One, Sam, don't call me sir. And two," He let out a huge groan, "I'm almost there, just hang-on-one-second!" Jack let out a roar, and there was a crash, and Sam screamed. Daniel wanted to move, he wanted to run back to his car, get a new cup of coffee, turn on his translation, and go and see Star Wars right now. All after taking a good, long shower, of course. He wanted to do all of this, but he was frozen to the spot, hearing Sam and Jack's pants and moans. After a short time, Sam let out a loud groan.

"Well, sorry," Jack yelled over her insistent groans, each getting louder, "But you're the one who fell over!"

Sam let out a low growl, "That's because you pushed me over!"

"Well, _excuse me! _The next time you and I-" Jack's sarcastic voice was cut off but Daniel, who had been slowly, unknowingly, leaning towards the door. Obviously, he leaned a bit too far, and collided with the door, which had not been locked, and it flew open, causing Daniel to stumble through the door.

He threw a hand in front of his eyes and began to stammer, "I'm sorry, I was just-" He had been waiting for Sam's gasp of surprise, Jack's yell of indignation, and his immediate dismissal from SG-1. Instead, he saw Sam, fully clothed, laying on the floor in an awkward position, her ankle oddly swollen. It was around Sam's ankle that Jack, also clothed, was kneeling, trying to see what was wrong. The freezer door was hanging open, and an enormous bag of mixed vegetables was half-hanging out of the stuffed freezer.

"Daniel!" Sam shouted, "Could you grab an ice pack out of the freezer? Thanks!" She said gratefully at Daniel passed her the ice pack, which she pressed to her ankle, shooing Jack away.

"W-what happened?" Daniel stuttered.

"Well," Jack started, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "The brilliant doctor here," He said gesturing to and indignant Sam, who snorted from the floor, "took it upon herself to help me with my groceries. And she says, 'You could use more vegetables in your diet'. So she goes and tell me to go get this huge sack of veggies," He jabbed a thumb at the bag behind him, "And then wants to help put it away. So I'm like, sure, why not? 'Cause I've got no problem with a little help, you know? Well, we're trying to lift the stupid thing and get it into a place it shouldn't be in, and when we finally get the pathetic thing in, she thinks it's a good time to fall over!"

"You pushed me!" Sam wailed, struggling to get to her feet. Or foot, Daniel supposed, seeing as she wasn't putting any weight on her injured ankle.

"I most certainly did not!" Jack replied, looking shocked at the thought.

"Oh, yes you did. You went and tried to-"

"Let's not go there." Jack hastily cut in, turning bright red for some reason.

Daniel thought he had been completely wrong about what had been going on. But hearing Sam's words, and Jack's interruption, he wasn't so sure. They were just putting away vegetables…weren't they?

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A/n: You like? Please, please review! This is my very, very first fic on this site, and it's a rather short, pathetic attempt. But seeing as I have no idea how to quite post things yet, I'm happy with this little one shot. Even if it is short. So give a young author some support and click that little button below. *smiles* ciao!


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